I'll Kill You
Music & Lyrics written: Sept 1995
Music & Lyrics by Paul
 |
When I got into filking, it was for funny stuff Tom Lehrer was my deity, I couldn't get enough But there are some less silly folk who seem to disagree They make you cry and wanna die, and usually off-key Please someone do something happy My tears are all but run out Stop singing ose or I'll kill you And that'll give you someth'n to cry about So I would sit through one, then I'd sit through two and three (& 4 & 5 & 10) The plants all started wilting, overdosed on minor keys The air was getting heavy, and humid from the tears Forgot completely how to smile, felt like it had been years I've heard enough of diseases The horrors of plague and of gout Stop singing ose or I'll kill you And that'll give you someth'n to cry about Tell me what rocket scientist had this idea of fun: "Let's sit and cry for hours, singing sad stuff by the ton For surely we'll be loved by the hankie retail stores, And if our listeners suicide, well that will just draw more." It's time for me to say something Though some may think me a lout Stop singing ose or I'll kill you And that'll give you someth'n to cry about So I am on a mission to stop those ose-y hordes I re-tune their guitars so that they can't play minor chords A tank of nitrous oxide I keep within my bag I aim and fire at maudlin folk, they laugh until they gag I'll bring the fun back to filking I've got it all figured out Stop singing ose or I'll kill you And that'll give you someth'n to cry about Oh, stop singing ose or I'll kill you And that'll give you someth'n to cry about! |